One-time Trump Twitter target, Kristen Stewart, has a new movie coming out called Personal Shopper, and in it, she plays a shopper whose dead brother might be sending her text messages. Hey, it’s not a live-action remake of a cartoon. What more do you want?
Given the subject matter, the lesbian housewife Totinos seducer got very deep about the nature of text messages and social media for V Magazine (via Yahoo!). Did you know that when you send a text, you’re interpreting “shadows” and entertaining an intense need for validation? Well, duh!
“When you speak to someone on the phone, that is a decipherable, understandable exchange,” she explains to V Magazine. “But with text and social media, it’s essentially a dialogue with yourself and your interpretation of a shadow. It’s not invalid; it’s a new language.”
We get it – you’re smart(?), you read, and you spend a lot of time on a bong. Simmer down; you’re playing a personal shopper with a haunted phone. Actually, hold that thought. What kind of bud is she smoking? Maybe my blogging would improve…*crest-fallen*
Bella Swan continued on, and she thinks you’re superficial, you fake-ass bitch.
Stewart herself is not on social media and cautions others to avoid its trappings.
“But you also become addicted to that hit by yourself and with yourself, every seven minutes or so, and you end up wasting so much time just validating something very superficial in yourself. It has definitely changed us.”
If you don’t want to be sending duck-lipped, trashy bikini selfies and “liking” your drunk-ass aunt’s badly composed pic of her slobbery pug in a birthday hat, that’s cool. Don’t. But you can avoid getting all “I don’t own a TV, but if I did, I’d only watch public broadcasting!” on our asses. I feel judged, and my duck-lipped trashy bikini selfies are sexy as all get out!
It’s inevitable. The Stew will do something I like that renders her a little less insufferable (this sketch, getting down in a Mini-Cooper with another gal’s husband like the rest of us do…). But then she immediately goes and does something stupid to ruin it. This time it’s trying to make me feel guilty about being so obsessed with social media that I trip because I’m optically glued to my phone while walking, fall and smack my face on the cement, and break my nose. That’s not a true story (yes, it is).