Hot Slut Of The Day!
Taco Bell’s fried chicken chalupa!
And so it begins… Trump hasn’t even been sworn in as president yet and Taco Bell is already preparing for when he deports every Mexican and this country is hit with a tortilla shortage! But really, I salute Taco Bell for finally waking up and not letting Hong Kong, the Philippines and other countries show America up when it comes to disgustingly delicious gourmet creations. Bloomberg says that in September 2015, Taco Bell tested a fried chicken shell in Bakersfield, CA and a short time after later they tested the fried chicken chalupa (they’re calling it the “Naked Crispy Chicken Chalupa“) in Kansas City, MO. And on January 26th, Taco Bell will fart out their fried chicken chalupa all across the country.
Yum! Brands, who operates Taco Bell, also operates KFC and they kept defibrillators busy when they dropped the Double Down on us. The Naked Crispy Chicken Chalupa is Taco Bell’s answer to the Double Down. Taco Bell’s Naked Crispy Chicken Chalupa is basically just a fried chicken shell with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and a “creamy avocado ranch” sauce in it. It’s like if you stuffed salad in Mama June’s cooch. Yes, it’s 2017 and I’m still making Mama June “jokes.”
The president of Taco Bell said that their customers have been asking for fried chicken, so they’re giving the people what they want. But doesn’t every American ask for fried chicken at every place they go to? Me at the DMV: “You’ve got fried chicken?” Me at my doctor’s office before getting an EKG: “You’ve got fried chicken?”
“Fried chicken is growing at a tremendous clip. It’s a real void on our menu, and it’s something that our customers ask us for.”
This is what the Naked Crispy Chicken Chalupa really looks like and this picture surprised me a bit. I thought it’d really look like a deep fried abortion.
Taco Bell's New Naked Crispy Chicken Chalupa Has Fried Chicken for a Shell – https://t.co/rXvajv6era pic.twitter.com/rXH4rVDvOW
— Chef TJ (@CajunCatsup) April 29, 2016
Yes, I will put that in my mouth, but it needs to be reworked a bit. There’s way too much stupid salad shit in it. Take out all that dumb, useless lettuce stuff and replace it with ground “beef,” four kinds of melted cheese and refried beans. And while they’re at it, they should wrap the whole thing in a slice of pizza, dip it in batter and then deep fry it again. Then it would be perfect! (And I’m sure Taco Bell in the Philippines will release a chicken fried pizza chalupa any day now. They know how to do it.)
Pic: Taco Bell