Priyanka Chopra is a terrible actress. However, she’s one of Hollywood’s new “It Girls” and just like most beautiful people, her looks will always get her a pass. Take for instance, her music (strike one). It’s not necessarily groundbreaking or even easy to listen to, but LOOK AT HER!!! Sultry glares into the camera, hair blowing in the wind, magical dance numbers and she has a song with Pitbull (aka Miami’s favorite club promoting uncle pimp).
Still, I digress. This has been an exciting year for Indian Beyonce. With her show Quantico rolling full steam ahead in its second season, and an upcoming turn in the highly anticipated reboot of the iconic television series Baywatch, starring Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron.
Earlier this year, Priyanka blabbed on and on about how she doesn’t need to exercise because she’s got Marvel Comics-like regenerative genes that keep her sexy and able to eat six cheeseburgers and twelve pizzas without gaining any weight (strike two, bitch). And now, just to add insult to injury and remind us how slovenly and common we all are, Priyanka has blessed us with the gift of more mouth diarrhea when she says that she doesn’t mind being the beat-off material for the world!
She recently told Cosmo :
“Yes, being objectified is part of my job. I don’t get offended by being called a sex symbol, because I’m an actress and it’s the nature of what I do. But I don’t think being a sex symbol is something you want to aim for. Of course you want to be hot, but that’s not all you want to stand for.”
That’s strike three, Priyanka! But, I can’t front. I remember when I started watching Quantico all I could do was stare at the TV like, “Oh my God she is soooo beautiful!” And from then to now, even after she’s basically said “Yeah, I’m beautiful. Deal with it fuckers!,” i’m still 100% on team Priyanka.
But she still can’t act. And when the time comes for them to do the Baywatch sequel and they choose to not include her I will gladly stuff all of this thick and juiciness into a red bathing suit and run down the beach looking like the Kool-Aid man if it means I get to be next to the OG hotness that is The Rock. But who am I kidding, I ain’t running. Maybe he and I can do a slow jog and I’ll pretend to be out of breath so he can hoist me over his shoulder and run away with me. Or, in an even better plot twist, whenever I spot someone drowning, I’ll point them out and watch him run towards the sea then wait for his trunks to fall off as he re-emerges from the water all wet and sexy.
I tell you… the sacrifices we beautiful people have to make.