Just In Time For The Holidays, Hasbro Has Released Their New “My Wasted Pimp Buddy®” Doll

December 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Calling PETA! Calling PETA! You need to immediately cut short your latest photo shoot with (insert the name of any hard-up fame whore who will gladly pretend like she cares about animals to get some attention in a naked ad) and come and save that raggedy, down-and-out creature. Oh yeah, save that fur coat too while you’re there.

If you get randomly drug tested by your job or probation officer, immediately avert your eyes, because five seconds after I looked at these pictures, I started sniffling, grinding my teeth and busted out moves to a Rick James song that started playing in my head for some reason. Justin Bieber and his stylists are on a roll (and by that I mean they’re rolling on some serious shit while putting together his ensembles). Last month, Justin Bieber was done up like a child-touching hipster child, and last night he left a restaurant in the icy b-hole-freezing tundra of Los Angeles while done up like the tackiest pimp/dealer in Aspen. Mickey Rourke would pick out that outfit if Mickey Rourke didn’t have impeccable taste.

Since I brought up PETA, they have already released a statement where they skinned the Biebs and wore him while leaving a restaurant in L.A.

“I sometimes think that Justin Bieber needs a brain scan, as I suspect his mirror neurons — the seat of empathy — are underdeveloped or undeveloped, given that he acts like a self-absorbed, childish showoff. He seems incapable of seeing how his buying habits cause needless suffering to animals, such as baby tigers, baby monkeys, and wild coyotes. Animal groups are tired of having to clean up after him, from the abandoned baby monkey in Germany (now rescued) to the abusive zoo in Canada (now closed) to having to run ads explaining the horrible ways in which animals die for fur.”

If PETA wants the Biebs to get their message, then they should calm down on using such big words. I mean, the Biebs probably gave up while trying to sound out the word “sometimes.”

Here’s more of the Biebs working one of Kanye’s old looks in L.A. last night. With that hood on, he looks like a douche nugget trapped in a polar bear’s pussy.

Pics: Splash

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