Hollywood Has Run Out Of Ideas: Part 9,745,666

December 15, 2016 / Posted by:

Telephone operators should expect to be flooded with thousands of calls from oldies who demand to be connected to Studio City 6-500, because they’ll want to take out their teeth and rage scream at CBS for butchering one of their childhood classics! CBS has really messed up with this one, because the oldies are their main demographic. They’re biting the Asperecreme-covered hand that feeds them.

The Hollywood Reporter says that executives at CBS grabbed a list of Classics That Haven’t Been Shredded To Bits Yet, looked at the titles and shrugged after saying, “The Honeymooners? Sure, why not!”

CBS is putting together a multi-camera reboot of The Honeymooners, which I thought ran for a zillion years, but only ran for 39 episodes from 1955 to 1956. Jackie Gleason revived it a few times until 1978. The Honeymooners was rebooted in 2005 as a movie, which starred Cedric the Entertainer (as Ralph), Gabrielle Union (as Alice), Mike Epps (as Ed) and Regina Hall (as Trixie). It was both a critical and box office flop.

CBS’ redo of The Odd Couple is currently in its third season, so those messes are hoping their redo of The Honeymoons will also be sort-of successful. Bob Kushell, who was the showrunner on ABC’s reboot of The Muppets, will write the script. THR says that CBS is really modernizing it by making one of the couples previously divorced.

The new take centers on two couples — best friends and neighbors like the original — who contend with a new dynamic when one couple remarries after divorcing four years earlier.

Bringing back The Honeymooners feels so random to me. Like, why? What’s next? A reverse-gender reboot of I Love Lucy (titled I Love Lukey) starring Carrot Top as Lukey McGillicuddy and Salma Hayek as Rica Ricardo? Okay, I can’t lie, I’d totally watch every second of that.

The good news for those of you who are hurt by this news is that it’ll probably last only 5 minutes. Because as soon as Ralph makes a fist and screams, “Hashtag BANG! Straight to the iCloud,” Alice will call the cops and he’ll be jailed. The end!

Pic: CBS Television Distribution,

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