I Guess It Was Jocelyn Wildenstein’s Man’s Turn To Get Arrested For Being A Violent Mess

December 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Don’t look to your left too fast or your that camera lens will be covered with fillers and tissue after your face explodes from seeing that much beauty up close.” – Jocelyn Wildenstein’s man to himself in that picture.

Last week, the 100% plastic feline jewel was arrested and slapped with feliney assault charges for allegedly going pussy gone rabid on her longtime man Lloyd Klein by clawing him, cutting him up with scissors and throwing a metal tray at him in her Trump World Tower apartment in Manhattan. Jocelyn was released back into the wild without having to post bail and went back to her apartment. But the cat scratch drama was hardly over.

Page Six says that at around 2:30 on Sunday morning, Lloyd went back to Jocelyn’s high-rise scratching post at Trump Tower to get his stuff, and sources say that he also grabbed shit that didn’t belong to him like an iPhone 6, a credit card and a Swiss ID. Lloyd also reportedly attacked Jocelyn and caused minor damage to her hand.

The 76-year-old “Catwoman” of Manhattan claims that 49-year-old Lloyd Klein shoved her to the ground while picking up this things at 2:30 a.m. from her pad in Trump World Tower at First Avenue and 47th Street, cops said.

Lloyd was hit with a few charges including robbery, assault with intent to cause physical injury, grand larceny for taking a credit card, mischief with intent to damage property and damage to a highly important historical artifact of beauty. Okay, I made that last one up, but they should truly hit him with that charge. Lloyd Klein’s lawyer, of course, denies the allegations:

“My client was arrested this morning at his New York residence after patently false allegations were made to the NYPD by Mrs. Wildenstein alleging a physical altercation with Mr. Klein today shortly after midnight. At present we are cooperating fully with the NYPD to clear Mr. Klein of these allegations and expect this matter to be dismissed shortly,”

Well, if investigators find that Lloyd Klein really did commit first-degree cat abuse by attacking Jocelyn Wildenstein, then fuck jail. He should be put into a room with PETA executives, a can of red paint or a bag of flour. Or just glue catnip all over his body and throw him back into Jocelyn Wildenstein’s lair.

And in case your eyeballs haven’t seen it yet here’s Jocelyn’s  SANS FARDs mug shot:


I’m sure you’re doing two of two things: 1) Caressing your scared skin while telling it that you’ll never ever so much as look at a plastic surgeon’s phone number. And; 2) Ordering raw sausage because you suddenly having a craving for it.

Pic: Getty, NYPD

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