Dear Melania Trump, Tom Ford Doesn’t Want To Dress You

December 1, 2016 / Posted by:

Flip-flops in the city, man shorts, waxed crotches and fame whores using their babies to get attention are just a few of things that Tom Ford can’t be bothered with. And now you can add Melania Trump’s name to that list.

Jabba the Trump becoming our future dictator overlord is even tearing the fashion world apart. Tommy Hilfiger, Diane Von Furstenberg, Thom Browne and Andre Leon Talley all pledged their allegiance to Melania Trump. But fashion designers Sophie Theallet, Marc Jacobs, Derek Lam and Phillip Lim made it clear that they’d rather hump an UGG while blowing a CROC than lend a dress to the current First Lady of Gold Diggers and future First Lady of the United States. Tom Ford is with them.

The perfectly-pruned tall drink of fancy Texas water was on The View yesterday to pimp out his movie Nocturnal Animals, and Joy Behar asked him about dressing Melania. Tom Ford dressed Michelle Obama once when she met THE QUEEN at Buckingham Palace, and he thought that was appropriate. But he doesn’t think it’s right for the First Lady to go around slathered in opulence like a Tom Ford design!

“I was asked to dress her quite a few years ago and I declined. She’s not necessarily my image. Other than the fact that I’m a Democrat and voted for Hillary and am very sad and disappointed that she’s not in office…. But other than that, even if Hillary won, she shouldn’t be wearing my clothes. They’re too expensive and I don’t mean that in a bad way. They’re not artificially expensive, it’s what it costs to make these things. But I think to relate to everybody…”

And if you want to hear Tom Ford say those words in his rich bitch accent, here you go (at the 0:50 mark):

Being the Dan Rather of gutter trash blogs that I am, I did some research and went to Tom Ford’s site to see what his cheapest dress costs. The cheapest dress on his site is $2,190. That’s a big mortgage payment to many, but the dollop of diamond syrup that Melania Trump poops out is worth more than that. So what I’m saying is that I don’t think Tom Ford has to worry about the Melania Trump of today wearing his clothes. First of all, I don’t think she wants to be the First Lady of the People, and second of all, she wouldn’t even wipe her solid gold-coated ass with a $2,190 dress. I mean, a $2,190 dress is something that the peasants buy at Kohl’s!

And here’s Tom working that sharp-as-hell widow’s peak at the NYC premiere of NA a few weeks ago:


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