Hot Slut Of The Day!

Froze Toes ice cream bar, straight from the ice cream truck!

Thanks to Miranda Sings and that Haters Back Off show on Netflix, Froze Toes from the ice cream truck has finally gotten its time in the spotlight.

When I was a kid and had enough money for extravagant purchases like frozen bars of processed deliciousness from the ice cream truck, I mostly spent my coins on either the crown jewel of ice cream trucks, the Pink Panther pop, or a Strawberry Shortcake. But whenever I felt like showing the kids how edgy I was, I made a controversial decision by buying a Froze Toes. (This was before my mom forbid our asses from buying from the ice cream man because her sister heard a story about how one ice cream man killed a kid and stuffed the child in his freezer. But I digress….)

A Froze Toes pop (also sometimes called a Funny Feet or Big Toe pop) was an ice cream foot with a gumball on its big toe. I don’t really remember what it tasted like, but I do remember that chewing on the frozen gumball was like chewing on stale taffy. And now that I look at it in its natural state, it looked more like Mama June’s Forklift Foot with a giant boil that’s about to pop.

Froze Toes was discontinued a while ago, but apparently pops like it are still sold at a few ~select~ ice cream trucks. But I bet that when Froze Toes was discontinued, Quentin Tarantino bought all the back stock and he keeps them in a giant freezer in his garage. Because you know that after a long stressful day, he loves nothing more than to deep throat a Froze Toes.

Pics: Pinterest, Electrik Relaxation