Open Post: Hosted By Justin Hartley’s Nipples For A Good Cause

October 20, 2016 / Posted by:

I know Justin Hartley as the hot trust fund douche from the multiple award-winning, mega-hit soap opera Passions, but like one or two of you may know him as the hot tortured sitcom actor on the little-known flop This Is Us. And yesterday, he became known as the hot, topless piece who agreed to be objectified and eye-fucked by Ellen’s audience (AND ME!) for charity.

Ellen and Sally Beauty’s uppity stepsister, Ulta Beauty, have been raising money for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Ulta Beauty donates a big load of money every time a dude gets wet on Ellen. And just like his co-star Milo Ventimiglia before him, Justin offered up his man nipple services to take breast cancer down.

Ellen DeGeneres and her other guest, Rachel McAdams, played a really stupid game where they made pink water balloons break on a half-naked Justin by pulling sticks out of a tube. Actually, I shouldn’t call that game stupid. I mean, soft pink balls and liquid touched Justin’s topless body and that’s pretty much a wet dream come true for sucios who are into teabagging and golden showers.

I have no strategy, I’m just pulling these out.” Excuse me while I get my legal team at to send a cease and desist to Rachel McAdams for using the copyrighted line I use right before every hook-up.

Here’s Justin wearing way too many clothes with his fiancee Chrishell Stause at the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic in Pacific Palisades, CA over the weekend.


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