Poor Lindsay Lohan. She loves boats! I mean, being on a boat is practically her full-time job at this point. But this weekend, some shit went down that temporarily took her off a boat and put her in the hospital. There are only two things that would make Lindsay Lohan leave a boat and go to the hospital: either she passed out after hearing the boat’s captain say “Uh oh, looks like we left all the vodka and cigarettes back on shore” or she damn near lost an appendage. TMZ says it was the second one.
It all happened yesterday in Turkey. Lindsay took a break from cosplaying Angelina Jolie for Syrian refugees and spent the day on a boat with some, oh, let’s call them “friends.” Lindsay decided to earn her boat ride by pitching in and pulling up the anchor. Here’s where it gets messy. According to some Snapchats she snapped, Admiral Ashtray got tangled in the anchor and it pulled her down into the water. Lindsay climbed back into the boat, but the anchor had sliced off the tip of her ring finger. So many “just the tip” jokes, so little time.
Lindsay’s friends scrambled around the boat trying to search for her missing finger. When they found it, Lindsay hauled ass to the ER and got a plastic surgeon to reattach it. This is what it looked like after it was all done. If you give Lindsay a drink today and she asks “Is there alcohol in this?”, it won’t be a Mean Girls Day joke. By the looks of that bandage, she’s probably on the type of pain killers that have a No Booze, Bitch, I’m Serious warning label.
As you can see, that’s Lindsay’s left hand, and there’s usually a giant emerald engagement ring that lives on that wrapped-up finger. I sure hope that Lindsay remembered to grab that engagement ring with her not-busted hand before it fell to the bottom of the ocean like the rode-hard version of the Titanic necklace. On the bright side, at least she has air-tight alibi for when ex-fiancé Egor Tarabasov asks for that expensive engagement ring back. What a convenient situation! “The black kid did it! Errr, I mean, it’s the anchor’s fault! It’s definitely not in the jewelry case of a Turkish pawn shop, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Pic: Instagram, Lindsay Lohan Snapchat