Brad Pitt better put down the bong he had custom built to resemble Frank Gehry’s “Dancing House.” He needs to get on the stick if he’s ever going to catch up to his ex Angelina Jolie’s efforts in collecting celebrity attorneys. Have either of them claimed Gloria Allred yet? That poor gal is standing on the sidelines like the last power suit picked in a game of celebrity attorney kickball.
TMZ reports that Angie has added Pierce O’Donnell and Bert Fields to her roster of legal ninjas. Pierce and Bert are the dudes who helped celebrity racist Donald Sterling’s ex-wife Shelly Sterling facilitate the sale of the LA Clippers. They’re joining a group that already includes the real-life Olivia Pope Judy Smith (I hope she has the walk down), Robert Offer, and the woman that Harvey Levin INSISTS on calling “disso-queen,“ Laura Wasser. I swear. It’s like TMZ knows exactly what triggers my soul to wince. “Disso-queen” is up there with “baby bump” and “canoodling” and what everyone’s done to the word “narrative.” *grimace*
Angie also has two dragon ladies, Lady Arminka and Chloe (not that one) Dalton, from the UN on her side. Who does Brad have advising him so far besides his weedman and Amal Clooney if she’s not too busy to take his call that day?
What’s noteworthy about Pierce and Bert is that they are trial lawyers. The thinking is that Angie wants them on board just in case things get ugly, er, uglier and this all ends up in a courtroom.
My image of Brad behind-the-scenes has always lined up with his cameo as “Floyd” in True Romance. He just wants to sit on his wrecked couch all day and smoke up and maybe page through coffee table books about architecture. Unfortunately for Brad, his ex is more than willing to “condensin” him, man.