Open Post: Hosted By The Security Guard Who Was Left Stunned By The Demure Emily RideAJetSki

September 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Or maybe that security guard is trying her best to hold in the sigh of relief she’s feeling over not having to frisk someone else. If you’re going to an event and want to help security out, just wear a black skirt and two skinny cummerbunds over your chichis.

Model, actress and noted thirst trap Emily RatOnCowSkis was a guest at Harper’s Bazaar’s Icons party in NYC on Friday night, and she somehow managed to achieve something that has never been achieved before. Emily was at the same party as Kim Kartrashian and mini-Kim Kartrashian and was less covered up than those always-naked gutter tricks were. If you’re in the same room as Kim Kartrashian and Kylie Jenner and both of their titty bags are fully covered and everyone can see most of yours, does that mean that a monster in Winona Ryder’s shed kidnapped you and you’re now living in The Upside Down? Because that is one of the strangest stranger things I’ve ever heard.

And now I know what’s going on in that picture above. The security guard is carefully studying Emily Rattailbrewski’s black licorice tit suspenders, because she has a church wedding to go to soon and needs something classy, modest, conservative and sophisticated to wear!

Pics: Splash

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