Pour Out Some Sizzurp, Lil Wayne Sounds Like He’s Retiring

September 4, 2016 / Posted by:

Smeagol’s cousin who raps Lil Wayne sounds like he’s over and out when it comes to show business. Following a second 911 shooting hoax at his place in Miami on Friday (the first one happened in March of last year), the seizure-prone hip-hop artist made like Inetta the Moodsetta on Twitter.

Everyone freaked. Especially me, because I have embarrassed myself performing along with Lollipop as a middle-aged white woman in my jalapeno green Chevy Spark only to be spotted by chortling fellow motorists on 93 North on more than one occasion. I can’t picture life without Lil Wayne. Missy Elliot was concerned, too!

Besides having some of the most viable sperm in history, Lil Wayne is also a caring indvidiual. He followed up to assure us that he’s ok despite the cryptic retirement tweets.

Wayne’s had a time of it lately, so retirement from the rap game might seem like a viable option. He’s acknowledged an ongoing addiction to purple drank, frequently convulses on planes, and he hasn’t been able to release an album since 2015 because he’s stuck in a heated battle with his record label (whose head Birdman allegedly tried to have him killed?). Did I mention recording with this one (*frown*)? I’m no doctor, but maybe he should hold on to some of that super-powered baby batter until he gets his strength back? Creating so many human beings (#babymamaoverflow) must take a lot out of you spiritually and physically (and financially).

In other news, Lil Wayne and the Miami PD showed themselves to be classy as fuck (that’s pretty classy) after Friday’s 911 hoax. Chris Brown, feel free to take some notes.

Pic: Instagram

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