Tennis Star Eugenie Bouchard Totally Just Made Taylor Swift’s Enemies List

July 21, 2016 / Posted by:

It feels like the only thing anyone has wanted to talk about (or more accurately, stop talking about) this week has been the Snapchat war between Kimye and the human snake emoji Taylor Swift. So not surprisingly, 22-year-old Canadian tennis star Eugenie Bouchard was asked about it during a press conference on Tuesday.

TMZ says Eugenie spoke to reporters after she was eliminated at the Citi Open in Washington, D.C. Once reporters got all of the tennis questions out of the way, one of them asked her if she was Team Taylor or Team Kimye. Eugenie is a Canadian person, so I figured her answer to start with a “Pardon?” and end with a couple sorrys before trying to change the subject back to tennis. Instead Eugenie went in on Taylor.

Eugenie – who made it clear that she loves Taylor’s music – didn’t specify whether she’s Team Taylor or Team Kimye. But she said in no uncertain terms that she’s Team Stop Playing the Victim, Taylor. It all happens around the 6:05 mark.

Eugenie also thinks that Taylor “overreacted” to the whole thing. Taylor Swift? Overreact to this situation? Never!

Taylor Swift is probably rewarding her outspoken cheer squad members with gift baskets of licensed Taylor Swift merch assembled by her cats. But I have no idea what she’s got planned for the people who dare to suggest she isn’t actually a capital-V victim in all of this. I wouldn’t be surprised if Taylor was plotting long-term revenge scenarios for them as we speak. With Eugenie, she’ll wait she advances to the finals of an important tennis match. Then right before the game-winning point, Taylor will reveal that she has trademarked the phrase “Eugenie Bouchard wins” and have her lawyers threaten to sue the game announcers if they announce that Eugenie has won. Then Taylor will bounce a tennis ball over to Eugenie with a message stapled to it that says “This is what happens when you don’t support me, Eugenie. It’s called Feminism, look it up!

Of course, that will have to wait until she’s finished writing a statement about the person who defaced that Taylor Smith memorial mural in Melbourne last night.


Being falsely painted as Caveman SpongeBob is character assassination. I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.

Pics: Splash, Instagram

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