Madge Might Have Had Her Mitts Done

July 17, 2016 / Posted by:

Time is cruel, and it’s especially harsh on pop stars. You can stick to a diet of twigs, contort yourself into every crotch-flashing yoga position possible, and vampire the youth out of the 20-something backup dancers you stock in your boudoir. However, you’re still going to get all decrepit and dusty. Case in point, Madonna’s talons! She usually sports some variation of gloves at “events,” which could be an attempt at hiding the fact that they look like she’s been rock climbing and knife-fighting since birth. Her hands aren’t dedicated political activists like her asscheeks.

The British tabloids are dicks (as opposed to say, us, who are benevolent and encouraging), and they refer to old-looking hands as “Madonna mitts.” Madonna, 57, must have gotten sick and tired of seeing that when she was practicing her awful British accent by reading the London papers aloud. The Mirror (via Yahoo News) is claiming that she subjected her hands to several rounds of a treatment called “redermalization mesotherapy.” It costs $330 in American bucks, and sounds painful. The skin shouldn’t “bubble.”

The procedure, which apparently originated in Russia, takes 45 minutes and involves 80 to 100 micro-injections of amino acids, vitamins, and hyaluronic acid “to stimulate the production of skin-plumping collagen,” says the Mirror. Amino acids and hyaluronic acid form unsightly bubbles on the skin, but within about 24 hours, hands regain visible volume and elasticity, resulting a smoother, more wrinkle-free look.

A source told The Mirror that “Madonna has always been conscious of her hands which have always been the only bit of her which give away her true age. Mesotherapy isn’t too painful but nor is it for the faint-hearted.” Madge isn’t saying whether or not she Spanish Inquisition-ed the age out of her hands. If you see her sporting the fishnet fingerless gloves she was wearing in the early 80s, she probably took pity on them and didn’t stab them with acid. Good for her. Not so good for her latest 20-something piece. Skin shouldn’t bubble, handjobs shouldn’t be sharp.

Check out some pics of Madge and her mitts in London on July 1st. Before or after or at all? Judge for yourself!

(Thanks to reader Michael C. for the tip!)

Pics: WENN

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