J.K. Simmons Got Ripped For Himself, Not “Justice League”

July 1, 2016 / Posted by:

It’s summer. Which means that about a month and a half ago I, and probably you, said “Fuck, I need to get in shape.” I’ve actually managed to get in some half-decent progress in that time and no longer think that going to my gym just to use the toilet counts as exercise. Of course there are people at the murderous classes I take who make me feel like I’ll never be good enough, but they don’t come close to reaching the levels of shame that J.K. Simmons makes me, and, again, probably you, feel. Pepaw is fucking ripped.

At the beginning of June, J.K.’s trainer, Aaron Williamson, posted pictures to Instagram of J.K. and his 61-year-young, newly acquired gym rat body. J.K. is playing Commissioner Gordon in the Justice League movie, so hos speculated that that’s why he went and got all #instafit. But no, that’s not why. People says that in an interview with Business Insider, J.K. revealed that he’s just dedicated to being healthy, and the Justice League timing is coincidental.

“This is all coincidental. I’m not going to mess with something that iconic. After the second and final time that I got hugely fat in my life and when I lost that weight six or seven years ago, I pretty much decided that I was going to stay in decent shape for the rest of my life.”

He also had his first wake up call when he realized he needed to beat the bulge while he was on Oz. And no, that isn’t some sort of sex pun playing on the fact that Oz was beyond pornographic, so get your head out of the gutter.

“I was not in good shape at all. I was overweight and soft and here I am playing the head of the Aryan Brotherhood in this maximum-security prison in the first-ever HBO original drama and I was watching the first season when it came out and I just thought, ‘Wow, I don’t believe this guy at all. I have to get my ass to the gym and be a believable hard-ass.'”

Does this mean we can all slack off physically and then get super fit in our 60s? If you tell me I’m gorgeous as I eat my fifth chili cheese hotdog I’ll do the same for you. Ok? Deal!

Pic: Instagram

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