Charlie Sheen was in the UK over the weekend, because he did a live interview with fellow flaming suppository Piers Morgan at a theater in London. Watching Charlie and Piers in a conversation is probably like watching two b-holes take turns busting out a sloppy wet fart into each other. Charlie was on The Graham Norton Show to promote his live scat show with Piers, and the subject of Donald Trump was brought up.
In the past, Piers has stuck his tongue up Donald Trump’s ass many times and so Graham asked Charlie for this thoughts about the mutated moldy Circus Peanut. Charlie made it clear that he’s not here for Trump. Charlie then told a story about how Trump gave him a pair of “platinum diamond Harry Winston” cufflinks that turned out to be worth less than the stunning “gold” jewelry my cousins buy from a dude with a briefcase on the beaches in Ensenada, Mexico.
Charlie said that at a dinner about 5 years ago, Trump burped up an apology about not being able to make his wedding to his then partner in crackery Brooke Mueller. Charlie snorted out a laugh because he didn’t even invite Trump. Trump wanted to give Charlie a wedding present from him and exquisite rose Melania Trump, so he pulled off his cuff links and handed them over. Trump claimed they were platinum diamond cuff links from Harry Winston. Charlie later found out that they were about as valuable as an empty crack rock baggy. Charlie spilled this out:
“So smash-cut to about six months later, I have some jewelry getting appraised at the house and she finished and was leaving, and I said, ‘Oh yeah, you know there’s a couple other pieces I have that I’m very curious about. Would you mind appraising these?’ She said, ‘Oh, what are they?’ I explained the dinner, this and that, these are from Donald Trump, Harry Winston, flawless Ds, platinum. She took the loupe, spent about four seconds, and kind of recoiled from it—much like people do from Trump.
So [the appraiser] says, ‘In their finest moment, these are cheap pewter and bad zirconias.’ And they’re stamped ‘Trump.’ And I just thought, ‘What does this really say about the man? That he said this is a great wedding gift, and it’s just a bag of dogshit?’”
Charlie also called Trump a “charlatan” and said that he hopes the “circus will leave town before it contaminates the Oval Office.”
If you’re throwing a “bitch, giving someone junk ass jewelry is better than giving them HIV” look at Charlie Sheen, then I’ll have you know that he claimed during his show with Piers that he’s never infected anyone and hasn’t done it bareback-style since finding out his status.
But back to those cufflinks, Trump giving Charlie some bunk shit doesn’t even make it on the list of “Bad Things That Donald Trump Has Done.” But it does make me wonder about all the jewels that Trump has bestowed upon Melania Trump. Melania’s world will come crashing down around her if she finds out that all of the flawless diamonds and opulent jewels from her husband were bought at Claire’s! What am I saying? Melania is obviously an expertly-trained gold digger and had a magnifying lens installed over her eyeball so she can easily spot a fake. I should never doubt her skills.
And here’s more pictures from A Night With Two Fart Bags.