Hot Slut Of The Day!

The engaged pen of love in The Commish’ opening credits!

On Monday, Theresa Saldana, actress and anti-stalking activist, died of renal failure at the age of 61. Theresa was in Raging Bull and she also played herself in a TV movie about how her stalker tried to kill her. But her biggest role was playing Rachel Scali, Michael Chiklis’ wife, on all 5 seasons of The Commish in the 90s. When the news of her death came out yesterday, my friend and sometime Dlisted contributor Lahoma said that I should pay tribute to Theresa Saldana by making the beautiful pen she gives Michael Chiklis in the opening credits HSOTD.

In the opening credits, Michael Chiklis loses his pen like the top of his head loses hair, and he has to borrow pens all day. When he finally gets home and begins making a delicious sandwich, he finds a pen his beloved Rachel left in the salami. Now, if that was me, I’d be pissed that Rachel tainted the meat with a damn pen, but how can you ever be mad at a human pillar of consideration and love whose gorgeous hairstyle looks like a cross between an exquisitely-crafted hair brick and a shtreimel?

If you’re looking for a line in your  Tinder profile that will lure in your soulmate, write: “Looking for a considerate and loving soul like Rachel Scali who will put a pen in my meat.” Because that is the sign of real, real love.