Another Human May Soon Get To Call La Toya Jackson “Auntie”

May 4, 2016 / Posted by:

About one month ago, Janet Jackson pissed off some of her fans when she postponed her “Unbreakable” world tour under doctor’s orders. Janet Jackson will postpone a tour over a damn hangnail, but her excuse was that she and her billionaire piece husband, Wissam Al Mana, are planning their family. Everyone took “planning a family” to mean that they were either working on adopting a kid, trying to make a baby or one checked into her fetus baking bag. Well, a “source” confirms to Entertainment Tonight that Janet, who turns 50 in less than 2 weeks, is knocked up. UsWeekly also confirmed the news through a difference source (aka the intern who read Entertainment Tonight’s piece on the Internet).

There’s really no other details and Janet hasn’t said shit about this.

Being pregnant at any age seem hard, but pregnant at 50 seems like hard on top of hard. Janet is married to a billionaire, so she’ll be fine, I’m sure. Janet won’t have to walk because her minions will carry her around on a swan feather-stuffed satin mattress on a solid gold bed. And if she gets a craving for pickles dipped in ice cream and rolled in crushed potato chips (that’s whatever every knocked up lady craves, right?), she just has to snap her fingers and a maid will hand feed them to her while wearing a white glove.

Congrats to the unborn baby who will have La Toya Jackson as a tia! Congrats to JJ! Congrats to Wissam! And congrats to Janet Jackson’s secret daughter Renee for becoming a sister again! Yes, I will forever be a DeBargeJacksonSecretChild truther.

Pic: Splash

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