Madonna And Guy Ritchie’s Next Dramatic Custody Meeting Will Be Sans-Lawyers

March 31, 2016 / Posted by:

I know this pic is old as hell, but I like to think that that’s the same awkward [screaming internally] face Guy Ritchie made when his lawyer informed him that there would be no one there to mediate Madonna’s melodramatic performance art crazy at their next custody discussion.

The last time we checked in on Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s messy custody fight over their 15-year-old son, Rocco Ritchie, sources were saying that Madonna had accepted a judge’s decision to let Rocco live with his daddy in London. Now UsWeekly is saying that she wants the three of them to sit down together and discuss this shit without lawyers and judges. Oh yeah, this will definitely end well. Madonna is so angry about this situation that she called her ex-husband a “cunt” in front of an audience of thousands, so I can only imagine the kind of sweet talk she’ll use for an intimate audience of two.

A source tells UsWeekly that Madonna’s kiki with Guy and Rocco will probably happen sometime early in April, but they’re not exactly sure when or where. The source adds that Madonna is worried a date and time will never get set, because Guy and Rocco recently fucked off to the Maldives and she can’t get a hold of them. Regardless of whether or not it actually happens, Madonna and Guy are scheduled to meet back in court on June 1st.

I’m still not sure why Madonna wants to have a no-lawyers meeting. Maybe Madonna doesn’t want there to be any witnesses when she tries to work the same witch sorcery she uses to reverse the age in her face to reverse Guy’s alleged brainwashing techniques.


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