So, O.J. Simpson Was Right About That “If The Knife Is Rusted, I Can’t Be Busted” Shit
Last week, we all said, “Damn, FX’s marketing department doesn’t fuck around,” when the LAPD announced that they were doing tests on a rusty knife that was allegedly found buried on O.J. Simpson’s old property in Brentwood. The story went that a construction worker found it years ago and brought it to an off-duty traffic cop who was working private security on a film set across the street. The off-duty cop, who is now retired, claims he called it into the LAPD, but a supervisor blew it off. The off-duty cop held onto it for years and when he recently told a friend in the LAPD’s Robbery and Homicide Division about it, the friend’s supervisors made him hand that shit over. The knife is reportedly covered in rust. When The Juice found out about it, he apparently said, “If the knife is rusted, I can’t be busted.” Get it? The asshole was right.
TMZ’s sources say that the investigation into the folding buck knife is over, because zero traces of DNA were found on it. The sources say that it’s impossible to say whether or not it’s the murder weapon without any DNA evidence. There was no hair on the knife or any other kind of evidence that could give them a lead.
Sources familiar with the situation tell us, the DNA testing produced no matches. We’re told the microbes in the soil degraded any DNA to the point it was impossible to get a meaningful result.
A rep for the LAPD burped up a statement saying that he hasn’t received any results like that from the crime lab. But TMZ is sticking by their story.
Even if Nicole Brown’s blood, Ron Goldman’s blood and O.J.’s hair was found all over that knife, nothing could really be done. We wouldn’t get the second coming of the O.J. trial, because of a thing called the Ashley Judd law. But I bet that a fiery hot cloud of relief has left Pimp Mama Kris‘ demon mouth this morning. How was she supposed to know that some dumb construction worker would find the knife she buried? (The National Enquirer never lies.) PMK knows she should’ve unburied the knife, melted it down and injected it into her mug when she had the chance. Rookie move, PMK. Rookie move.
And here’s a sad, soulless beast (PMK is in the pictures) too in Paris the other day as well as pictures of Khlozilla at a club in Las Vegas over the weekend.
