Amy Poehler’s Beverly Hills Mansion Is Sucking California Drier

March 14, 2016 / Posted by:

“Hi, you thirsty, literally, haters!” – the Marie Antoinette of the California drought in that picture.

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, the city of Beverly Hills has been the worst when it comes to cutting back on using water during the California drought. It takes a whole lot of water to keep their gigantic ass lawns lush and green, their pools full and their pristine skin cleansed of the peasant germs that touch them when they go outside of their gates. The state of California put its cities on a water diet by forcing cutbacks by as much as 35%. The rich bitches of Beverly Hills were forced to reduce their water use by 32%. They have failed hard and didn’t meet their goal for four straight months. State water officials have fined the city and so the city is punching back at its citizens the old-fashioned way: PUBLIC SHAMING!

The Los Angeles Times (via Curbed) magically got a hold of warning letters that Beverly Hills officials threw at the city’s biggest water wasting assholes last November, and several famous tricks got warnings. The famous tricks include head of the West Coast Gay Mafia David Geffen, director Brett Ratner, Will & Grace co-creator Max Mutchnic and one of America’s sweethearts Amy Poehler. The city told the water wasters to cutback or else they’ll be banned from Barney’s forever and that’s a punishment worse than dehydrating to death. No, but the city did tell them to stop using so much goddamn water and they were also hit with penalties.

For two months last summer, David Geffen’s estate ate up an average of 27,000 gallons of water a day, which is 60 times what the average family in L.A. uses. He was charged around $30,000 for using 1.6 million gallons of water in just 2 months. Both Brett Ratner and Max Mutchnic blame “leaky pipes” on why their homes used so much water. As for Amy, between the months of May and July of last year, her family sucked up 170,000 gallons of water, and that’s also way beyond what the average L.A. family uses. Amy was charged more than $2,000 for that shit:

Poehler was charged more than $2,200 for water use at a property. The usage there between May 14 and July 14 exceeded 170,000 gallons, according to her bill.

Poehler’s representatives did not return calls and emails requesting comment.

The hell does Amy use all that water for?

Are the Behive and the Swifties still after her and so she constantly has to chase them off of her lawn with water from her front yard hose? Is she secretly Tom Selleck’s biggest fan and she sends him 50,000 gallons of water a month for his avocado farm? Does she have to wash her couch covers, towels and curtains twice in hot water every time her ex Will Arnett comes over, because his nasty self-tanner gunk gets all over them? Does she have a memorial to the late Li’l Sebastian in the form of a humongous water fountain in her backyard? If it’s the last one, I say the city should leave her alone, because that’s a worthy use of water.


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