Hot Slut Of The Day!
The classic black torchiere lamp, the crown jewel of elegance of any home it’s in!
If you’re a human who has at least one milliounce of taste, there’s a good chance that you’ve either owned or still own a tall, skinny lamp of lit elegance. In the 80s and 90s, it felt like everyone had a black torchiere lamp in their house. Every refined store from KMart to Ikea sold them. My mom got one with her devastatingly exquisite black lacquered and gold bedroom set, and to me, it was the star of our house for a while. My mom put it in our living room where I spent hours upon hours playing with it. Those were the days when a damn floor lamp was entertainment.
My friends and I used to lip-synch to songs in my living room, and sometimes we’d get super theatrical by closing the drapes to make the room as dark as possible. Then as one of us lip-synched for our lives, another one of us tilted the classic black torchiere and used it as a spotlight. It had a dimmer on it, so we could make the scene extra dramático by fading in and out. Our production values were basically better than that Lip Sync Battle show.
When I moved out of the house, my mom got rid of it (GASP! I know) and I hope that it went on to become a make-shift spotlight for some other young gay. If my dog’s legs were long enough to operate a make-shift spotlight, I’d run to KMart and get a classic black torchiere right away, because my solo lip-synching living room performances are missing that touch of thi-turr.
Pic: HardwareStore.com