Come… here. Wow! You’re getting so big! Who’s a big boy? You! You! Ok… Let’s put you in your seat… Click in… Ok. You want some pasta? Who wants pasta? No. Don’t throw it. We eat the pasta! Mmmmm! Tasty! No, Timmy. Please don’t throw it. Here comes the airp- Timmy! You’re making such a mess! NO! NO! STOP THROWING IT EVERYWHERE! TIMMY! TIMMY!
That is essentially what it’s like to me every time I see something about Shia LaBeouf. It all starts out normal or semi-normal or even fucking stupid but I’m like “ok, whatever” and then the shit just hits the fan really quickly and the switch goes from ‘ON’ to ‘WHY’. Never one to disappoint his fans – is that the word? is that correct in this context? – Shia LaBeouf turned the volume up from a LaBeouf 8 to a hard LaBeouf 12 during his latest performance art masterpiece nightmare hellscape. If you need a refresher, Michael described it all brilliantly in his review for Art in America.
Page Six reports that during Elevator: The Horror Show, Shia punched someone in the face for the sake of ART. A 29-year-old Oxford student waited for hours and hours to get in there with the thinking person’s Lady Gaga so he could ask him to punch him in the face for his own performance art project. Their exchange went like this:
Student: “I’m a performance artist. Can you help me with completion of my next piece by punching me in the face?”
Shia: “Oh man, you want me to punch you in the face? I don’t want to punch you very hard!”
Student: “Don’t be a pussy!”
Artist: “I don’t like doing it though…I just met you.”
The doors soon close and we don’t actually get to see Shia give it to him good, sadly, but the punch can heard. More importantly, the punch can be felt! The high stakes at play here for Shia and this student can be felt! ART makes one feel and that is what Shia does – he feels to make us feel because without feel there is no art and without art there is no Even Stevens: The Movie!