Rooney Mara Is Probably Going To Play Mary Magdalene In A Movie

February 2, 2016 / Posted by:

A few months after saying, “Errr, maybe that mess wasn’t the best idea,” about playing a whitewashed Tiger Lily in that turd of a Peter Pan movie, Rooney Mara is in talks to play Mary Magdelene in a biopic. I guess now we know for sure that Emma Stone and Rooney Mara have the same role advisor.

Deadline says that director Garth Davis has offered Rooney the role of the apostle to the apostles and one of history’s most legendary hookers in what is described as an “authentic and humanistic portrait of one of the most enigmatic and misunderstood spiritual figures in history.” Garth directed Rooney in a movie called Lion which comes out later this year. If Rooney signs on to play Mary Magdalene, it’ll start filming this summer and come out next year. Garth said this about Rooney playing Mary Magdelene:

“Rooney’s raw, brave approach to performances, coupled with her deeply magnetic inner life, holds all the dimensions needed to bring to life one of history’s most misunderstood woman — Mary Magdalene. Having worked with Rooney on Lion, I know she is a once in a lifetime talent.”

If the use of the word “authentic” is making you squint while saying, “Bitch, PLEASE,” under your breath, then you obviously haven’t read the Bible. In the Bible, Mary M is described as a “goth waif ferret who is like the living version of Morrissey’s most boring song .” So Rooney is perfect! And in other movie news, Joseph Fiennes has dropped out of playing Michael Jackson in that road trip fuckery movie and has been replaced by Rooney Mara!


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