Oscar Bait Alert: Jennifer Lawrence Is Going To Play Fidel Castro’s Piece In A Movie

January 20, 2016 / Posted by:

The Hollywood Reporter says that Jennifer Lawrence is trying to get more gold medals than Leonardo DiCatchAHo in the sport of Oscar baiting, because she has signed on to play Fidel Castro’s German-born American lovah in a biopic called Marita. Since I look at everything through 80s colored glasses, I first read that title as “Martika” and it gave me the sads knowing that Hollywood has never given the people (read: me and only me, probably) what they really want by making a Martika biopic.

Marita Lorenz, who is still alive and lives in Maryland, lived an ESCANDALOSO life. Marita boned Fidel Castro when she was just 19, claimed she was involved in John F. Kennedy’s assassination and proved that she has a type by humping on a Venezuelan dictator for a while. Sony bought the biopic after it was pitched to them by American Hustle’s co-writer Eric Warren Singer. Sony is hoping to fast-track this shit and they’re talking about shooting it in Cuba. So, Cuba, get ready to have your sinks filled with JLaw piss. Here’s more details from THR:

Marita centers on Lorenz and how she met and began an affair with Cuban leader Fidel Castro in 1959 when she was 19 years old. After living with Castro for a spell, Lorenz left Cuba and joined anti-communists in the U.S., where she was recruited by the CIA for an assassination mission. In 1960, she returned to Cuba to carry out the mission but, according to lore, yielded to love.

Singer spent months developing the project, working with [producers] Mednick and Rouleau, before bringing it to Lawrence, with whom he worked on Hustle, and taking it out to the town.

And this is what the real Marita looked like when she was a youngin’:


A director hasn’t signed on yet, but, bitch, please, a dried turnip could tell you who’s going to direct this. It’s going to be David O. Russell. Bradley Cooper is going to play Fidel Castro, Robert DeNiro is going play the Venezuelan dictator and Marky Mark is going to play JFK. But since Jennifer Lawrence is the MOST POWERFUL WOMAN IN HOLLYWOOD, I hope she decides to play Castro at the last minute and B. Coop gets the role of Marita. I see it!

Pic: Wenn.com

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