Who Cares About Their Oscars? Julianne Moore And Eddie Redmayne Were Finally Nominated For A Real Award
Both Julianne Moore and Eddie Redmayne are probably putting their Oscar in a boot box and storing that who cares award under a guest bed, because they need to make room on their mantel for an award they can really be proud of: A Razzie!
As they do every year, the Razzies butt squirted out their nominations the day before the Oscar nominations, which will be announced at the hour of the ungodly tomorrow morning. Adam Sandler is continuing his reign as the King of the Razzies. His movie Pixels got the most Razzie nominations along with Jupiter Ascending, Fifty Shades of Shit and Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. They each got 6 nominations. Julianne Moore and Eddie Redmayne both won their first Oscar last year and this year they’re both nominated for their first Razzie. Julianne got nominated for the Seventh Son and Eddie Redmayne was nominated for Jupiter Ascending. I’m sure Julianne and Eddie both got calls from their past acting teachers who said, “And now I can finally say that I’m really proud of you!”
But really, these Razzie nominations are completely invalid and I cannot take them seriously at all. How can you even respect the Razzie voters ability to dishonor the best in suck when they didn’t give one nomination to the cinematic crime of the century that was the Jem and the Holograms movie? Jem should be the only turd nominated and it should fill every single category, but it didn’t get one nomination. Something in the milk ain’t clean…
Maybe the Golden Raspberry people are in cahoots with the government and the Academy Awards people. Maybe Jem didn’t get a nomination, because it’s going to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar tomorrow and only because the feds want the producers to show up to the ceremony so that they can arrest them on the spot and charge them with butchery. Yeah, I’m going with that.
All the nominations are after the cut.
WORST PICTURE
“Fantastic Four”
“Fifty Shades of Grey”
“Jupiter Ascending”
“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”
“Pixels”WORST ACTOR
Johnny Depp, “Mortdecai”
Jamie Dornan, “Fifty Shades of Grey”
Kevin James, “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”
Adam Sandler, “The Cobbler” and “Pixels”
Channing Tatum, “Jupiter Ascending”WORST ACTRESS
Katherine Heigl, “Home Sweet Hell”
Dakota Johnson, “Fifty Shades of Grey”
Mila Kunis, “Jupiter Ascending”
Jennifer Lopez, “The Boy Next Door”
Gwyneth Paltrow, “Mortdecai”WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Chevy Chase, “Hot Tub Time Machine 2” & “Vacation”
Josh Gad, “Pixels” & “The Wedding Ringer”
Kevin James, “Pixels”
Jason Lee, “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip”
Eddie Redmayne, “Jupiter Ascending”WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip” [Voice Only] & “The Wedding Ringer”
Rooney Mara, “Pan”
Michelle Monaghan, “Pixels”
Julianne Moore, “Seventh Son”
Amanda Seyfried, “Love the Coopers” & “Pan”WORST REMAKE/RIP-OFF/SEQUEL
“Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip”
“Fantastic Four”
“Hot Tub Time Machine 2”
“Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)”
“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”WORST SCREEN COMBO
All Four “Fantastics,” “Fantastic Four”
Johnny Depp & His Glued-On Moustache, “Mortdecai”
Jamie Dornan & Dakota Johnson, “Fifty Shades of Grey”
Kevin James & EITHER His Segue OR His Glued-On Moustache, “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”
Adam Sandler & Any Pair of Shoes, “The Cobbler”WORST DIRECTOR
Andy Fickman, “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”
Tom Six, Human “Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)”
Sam Taylor-Johnson, “Fifty Shades of Grey”
Josh Trank (& Alan Smithee?), “Fantastic Four”
The Wachowskis (Andy & Lana), “Jupiter Ascending”WORST SCREENPLAY
“Fantastic Four” Screenplay by Simon Kinberg, Jeremy Slater and Josh Trank, Based on the Marvel comic book by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby
“Fifty Shades of Grey” Screenplay by Kelly Marcel, Based on the Novel by E.L. James
“Jupiter Ascending” Written by Andy and Lana Wachowski
“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” Screenplay by Kevin James & Nick Bakay
“Pixels” Screenplay by Tim Herlihy and Timothy Dowling, Story by Herlihy, Based on a Work by Patrick JeanRAZZIE REDEEMER AWARD:
Elizabeth Banks (RAZZIE “Winner” for “MOVIE 47,” Multiple Hit Movies This Year)
M. Night Shyamalan (Perennial RAZZIE nominee & “winner,” director of “The Visit”)
Will Smith (For following up “After Earth” with “Concussion”)
Sylvester Stallone (All-Time RAZZIE Champ, award contender for “Creed”)
And here’s Julianne and Eddie beginning their Razzie campaigns at LAX yesterday.
