I know people are always saying that dolphins are super smart, but that’s obviously a lie. I mean, how smart can they be? I’ve got the brain of a low-IQ squirrel, and even I know that getting that close to Justin Bieber puts you at risk of catching a chronic case of doucheitis.
So, I’m not sure how national holidays are born, but it’s probably safe to say this one has already made the shortlist. One day after Justin Bieber was caught acting ike a drunken ass-flashing asshole at the Mayan ruins in Tulum, TMZ says Canada’s acid-resistant pediatric plantar wart has hopped on a private jet and left Mexico. The only thing less-surprising than hearing that a world-class brat like Bieber behaved like a fool in another country is that he followed it up with a pouty “I’M GOING HOME!“-style exit.
TMZ claims that Justin Bieber, the daughter of the least-relevant Baldwin brother, and the rest of his Entitled Douche Crew weren’t asked to leave Mexico by officials, but just asked them to show a little respect. (Hahaha – good one, Mexican officials). Obviously, “respect” isn’t a word in Justin’s My First Dictionary, so he summoned his plane and they all went home.
Well, it looks like we can go probably ahead and add “flag jacking” to the long-list of things Justin Bieber has ruined. Thanks to Justin Bieber’s recent vacation fuckery, I can’t see why anyone would want to pretend to be a Canadian tourist. I’m sure a million little Canadian flag patches just ripped themselves off the backpacks they were sewn to and explained to their former owners that Canada’s reputation has been sullied by Justin Bieber and that they’re far better off without them.