Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry’s custody battle royale is done (for now, I think). So is Kelly Rutherford’s (for now). And Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s custody bitch fight seems to be playing out in Instagram. So somebody has to bring the messy custody drama and Bristol Palin and her ex-man Dakota Meyer may be the ones to do it. I just hope that his leads to video footage of Sarah Palin being dragged out of a court room by bailiffs after trying to attack Dakota with one of her American flag hooker heels.
Abstinence icon Bristol Palin gave birth to her latest baby, a girl she named Sailor Grace, on December 23rd. She has never said who knocked her up this time. TMZ says that Dakota Meyer, the Medal of Honor-winning Marine she dumped right before their wedding day, has filed papers claiming that he’s the dude who busted a raw load up into Bristol’s abstinent cooch. Dakota went to court because he wants joint and physical custody of Baby Sailor. Dakota also wants child support.
Bristol Palin’s child support fight against Levi Johnston (remember him?) wrapped up in October and now she may have to get into a whole new battle. What’s funny to me is that Dakota wants to share custody and also wants a monthly check from Bristol. If Dakota really needs money, he should take a tip from Levi Johnston and get paid by baring his nalgas in Playgirl. That’s what responsible fathers do. That’s if Dakota Meyer is even the father… Tin foil trucker hats on!
This blog (via ONTD) used Bristol Palin’s Instagram posts and other information to push the theory that she gave birth to her daughter in November, not December. They don’t think that Dakota Meyer is the father. They think that Bristol and her exotic model friend picked up two guys in Las Vegas one night and she got pregnant by one of them. Bristol has already spit on that theory. But if she didn’t, she could’ve used that in court against Dakota. “Your honor, Dakota shouldn’t get joint custody and he shouldn’t get money, because he’s not the father. Some stranger trick who raw dogged me during a drunken night in Las Vegas is the father. And yes, God has already forgiven me for that.”