Hot Slut Of The Day!

“Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney,” the filthy ass Christmas classic from 1950 that pays tribute to Santa’s fat dick!

My mind is an endless gutter and I’ve always got peen on the brain (this is what my CT scan looked like), so I pretty much think every song is about dick and fucking. But Ella Fitzgerald’s Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney is totally about dick and fucking. Dirty ass Ella!

Every time I hear it, I think about how Ella got it on with Santa and his dick was so fat that it got stuck in her coochie and stretched it out. Ella’s husband had to pay for her vaginal rejuvenation surgery and even after all that, she still wants Santa to come again. It’s old-timey porn for your ears. The writers of the song, William Hardy (hahaha) and Billy Moore, must have known what they were doing and tricked innocent and pure Ella into singing about Santa’s extra thick crotch candy cane. I did a quick Google search to find out more information about the musical ode to Santa’s chimney-busting dick and I came across this (not punned on purpose):

For many years, this song was one about which I’d only read. Ella’s Yuletide gynecological misadventure was, by all accounts, pretty filthy – so much so that Fitzgerald and her attorneys successfully blocked its reissue for years. Only after her death in 1996 did “Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney” start to show up on CD (including Verve’s excellent Yule Be Miserable, 2003). And, it was worth the wait!

Ella should’ve embraced the nastiness and did a horny holiday music tour with the legendary moan chanteuse Kay Martin. They could’ve been the Khia and Miley Cyrus of their time!

That song is pretty much a musical version of a very special holiday episode of Sex Sent Me To The ER. Merry Christmas, everyone! May Santa Claus get stuck in your chimney! I’d say the same thing for me, but my chimney got blown out years ago.