You can finally go on with your holiday and the planet can continue to spin, because the Kardashians have finally wet burped up their annual Khristmas Kard.
The Kartrashians didn’t put out a kard last year, because they said they “ran out of time.” That’s fame whore kode for, “Our in-house Photoshop team all broke their fingers from Photoshopping the hell out of our Instagram pictures throughout the year.” They’re back this year and this kard is a zillion times better than their past ones and solely because Pimp Mama Kris and her garbage disposal sludge hos aren’t in it.
The next generation of the Kardashian family money makers are the stars of this year’s kard. Saint West must have not been camera-ready by press time, so he didn’t make the cut. And I have high hopes for Reign Disick (Side note: Why do I know their names by heart? What is wrong with me?), because he looks like he could be the rebel of the family. The look on his face is a cross between “Get me out of her!” and “Why can’t I wear color?”