Open Post: Hosted By Sir Patrick Stewart Celebrating His Golden Globe Nom

December 10, 2015 / Posted by:

Bald-headed international treasure Sir Patrick Stewart got a Golden Globe nomination today for his performance in a TV show I’ve never heard of called Blunt Talk. I have no idea what it’s about, but I’m guessing it’s not a talk show where Sir Patrick and his best brofriend Sir Ian McKellen pass a blunt back and forth while discussing highly important issues. If that’s what it was about, I’d be that show’s most loyal viewer. But anyway, Sir Patrick celebrated his win by posing for a Twitter pic with his nipples out on a beach somewhere. Sir Patrick added these words to the pic:

Dear #HFPA I am so overjoyed by my @goldenglobes nomination I decided to coordinate my look today. #aquasocks

Congrats to Sir Patrick, but that picture shouldn’t have been uploaded, because it’s missing one very important thing: Sir Ian toasting to Sir Patrick while lounging on the beach in a merman tail. I would file an official complaint with Sir Patrick, but right now I’m too busy shaking my head at myself. Sir Patrick is more than twice my age and dude’s body situation is a million times better than mine. I really need to get on that Metamucil daiquiri (That’s what that is, right?) and Werther’s diet STAT.

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