Open Post: Hosted By John Stamos’ Ass Cheeks

December 7, 2015 / Posted by:

PAPER, the magazine that drenched our eyeballs with Kim Kartrashian’s sticky fart grease and Wonky McValtrex’s bondage butt has finally given us hard-up and desperate whores a pair of nalgas we actually want to see. John Stamos went pant-less and chonies-less for PAPER and served up some of his 52-year-old ass cakes. Who cares if that pose is all kinds of awkward and it looks like he’s in the middle of humping that curtain, they gave us Stamos butt. Although, I am disappointed with the paparazzi….

I mean, the paparazzi takes at least 500,000 pictures of Gigi Hadid walking to her car and another 300,000 pictures of Bella Thorne buying pressed juice, but yet not one of them pried themselves away from those riveting scenes to run over to the building where Stamos was shooting in hopes of catching his peen staring out the window! Damn them. Priorities: The paps need to get theirs in order.

But then again, if they did get a picture of Stamos’ dick, they may also have gotten a shot of his Santa Claus nose of a belly button and that might’ve ruined everything.

Pic: PAPER/Brian Bowen Smith

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