ICYMI: The Trailer For “Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice”

December 3, 2015 / Posted by:

My baby gay-self screamed “GOD YES!” when Wonder Woman popped up at the end of the trailer even though she just stands there while not being Lynda Carter. It’s the power of widow’s peak boots!

Ben Affleck went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night to show everyone the new trailer for Batman v Superman,” which comes out in March. The trailer made the movie look like one long contest where they all try to out-constipate face each other. Mostly everyone looks all serious, strained, brooding and like their bowels are in major need of some damn relief. They finally get that relief and their backed-up shit loads form a giant mutated caca monster named Doomsday! Doomsday looks like Piece of Chet from Weird Science after he went on the Paleo diet and took a whole lot of roids.

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman doesn’t show up until later in the trailer, so skip to the 2:36 mark if she’s the only thing you care about.

And Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor… Damn. I don’t think he got the note that the movie’s overall mood is “first few seconds of a Dulcolax commercial” and not “last few seconds of a NoDoz commercial.” Wrong over-the-counter drug, bitch. Dude is hyper wrapped in annoying. He’s like Nermal from Garfield as an evil villain. I don’t know if he’s playing Lex Luthor, The Riddler, Jar Jar Binks, Larry from Three Stooges or a combination of them all.

Also, I have a side question. Do you think that while impatiently waiting to shoot the big fight scene, Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck asked what the hold-up was and the production assistant said, “Waiting for Gadot.” Okay, okay, I’m leaving. I’m showing myself out!

Pics: Wenn.com

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