That looks is supposed to be “starving seaman stranded in the ocean” but it’s more “tweaker after a meth lab explosion.”
When Chris Hemsworth was in the middle of shooting that Moby Dick movie In The Heart Of The Sea (Side note: Moby’s Dick – In The Heart of My V would sort of be a good name for a straight porn parody), he said that he was on a crazy diet to lose some muscle. You know, because when you’re stranded at sea and there’s no Pret a Manger or 24 Hour Fitness around you, you’d probably get skinnier than a shrimp’s dick.
“We couldn’t go away for a month and get skinny, we had to do it while we were shooting. At one point, a day’s rations were a boiled egg, a couple of crackers and a celery stick. I reckon about 90% of our conversations were about our favourite foods and what we would eat when we finished the film.
I was skinnier than ever before, but at least we were losing weight together – the bond we formed was incredible. It reminded me of being on a football team growing up, where you’d do anything for each other. You don’t often get that on set.”
Yeah, that bond sounds real incredible. It was a bond built on lies! They may have felt like they were in it together or something, but they were all lying to each other. Because if one of them was 100% honest, they’d say, “Fuck this shit, we’re not winning any Oscars. My friend on The Revenant set said that Leonardo gets raped by a bear. I’m out. I’m going to Chipolte.”
And here’s Thor and his wife Elsa Pataky at the Spanish premiere of In The Heart Of The Sea in Madrid today.