Prepare To Be Fully Enlightened: Jaden Smith Is Writing A Philosophy Book

December 2, 2015 / Posted by:

Those of us who have read any of Jaden Smith’s interviews or tweets know that his words and thoughts are otherworldly star beams that lift our consciousness above the universe where it dances with the breaths of aliens to the sound of humming UFO engines. (I know, I should switch my weed strain or stop reading Jaden Smith quotes.) If a short Jaden Smith interview can do that to a person, imagine what an entire book of his thoughts will be able to do.

Amazon will soon stop carrying the works of Plato, Nietzsche and Confucius, because Will and Jada Pinkett Smith’s child is apparently writing a philosophy book and it will become the only philosophy book this world needs. A source tells UsWeekly that 17-year-old homeschool student Jaden Smith, who is well on his way to becoming valedictorian of his class of 1, is currently writing a collection of essays. The source says that Jaden thinks he’s the new Sylvia Browne, because he can feel spirits from other dimensions. Jaden also hopes that his book will turn him into the teenage Dalai Lama of Calabasas.

“Jaden sees himself as a modern-day prophet and is working on a collection of essays. They’re new takes on string theory and chaos theory, but more mystical. Jaden thinks he has spiritual ties to people in other dimensions and galaxies, and they are helping him write. He hopes to have a spiritual following when he releases these.”

So basically, he’s writing Dianetics for Kids! 

See, this is what happens when you mix together a privileged rich kid, Scientology, zero discipline and a never-ending supply of the good shit. You get a future cult leader who will preach to his followers about his hot take on chaos theory as they shop for jersey t-shirt dresses and get froyo. And I will be really disappointed in Jaden if the pages of his philosophy book aren’t infused with weed.


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