Gwen Stefani’s Nanny Was Single White Female-ing Her

November 11, 2015 / Posted by:

I should’ve known that this whole “Gavin Rossdale doing the nanny” thing would eventually make a sharp right turn into 90s thriller territory.

Mindy Mann (seen above singing “every step you take, every move you make,” to herself while walking behind her boss) didn’t only allegedly bone Gwen Stefani’s husband on the regular for three years. Mindy Mann was also supposedly obsessed with Gwen and would do everything she did. A source tells UsWeekly that Gwen hired Mindy, who is from Australia, as a nanny in 2008 after some friends (probably Ben Affleck) recommended her. Mindy apparently began to Stefani-ize herself. If Gwen did a certain diet, Mindy did it too. If Gwen bought a certain bag, Mindy bought it too. If Gwen sucked her husband’s dick, Mindy sucked it too.  Mindy also hired a group of Asian women to silently follow her around. No, she didn’t do that. As far as I know, anyway.

The source says Gwen thought Mindy pulling a Single White Female was weird, but she didn’t really get suspicious until 2012. Paparazzi pictures came out of Gavin touching Mindy’s ass during a hike. At the time, everyone was told we were gross disgusting pervs, because that butt belonged to Gavin’s sister and he was helping her up. But it turns out it was Mindy, not his sister. (Where’s our apology, Gavin?!!!!!) Mindy also posted pictures Facebook of her done up like Gwen Stefani. The investigative team at the Peabody-worthy literary journal of integrity The Daily Mail put together several side-by-sides of Mindy and Gwen.

Gwen eventually found naked pictures that Mindy sent to Gavin. Gwen fired her and quit him.

If you threw 2 cups of Single White Female, 2 cups of Hand That Rocks The Cradle, a tablespoon of peroxide and a teaspoon of Vegemite into a blender, you’d get this story. If any of this is true, Gavin is the weirdest one for doing a cosplay version of his wife when he could’ve just humped the real thing. And I don’t know who Gwen Stefani’s best friend is, but they’re the Julianne Moore in this real-life Hand That Rocks The Cradle and should stay away from greenhouses for the rest of their life. Just look at the plants from afar, bitch.

Pic: Splash

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