Ariana Grande Latte was supposed to be on The Jonathan Ross Show in Britain, but because she probably decided to take her donut terrorizing act international and was busy spitting out her demon venom on delicious fried rings in bakeries in London, she didn’t show up. The Mirror says that Ariana’s minions told Jonathan Ross’ people that she was getting in a car to go over to shoot the episode that airs Saturday night, but they waited and waited until they couldn’t wait no more. Johnathan reportedly trashed the dark-sided Ever After High doll in front of his audience and joked that she was probably getting chicken.
“Ariana is in town. We were told she would be in the car at 6pm to be here for 7pm then it got to 7pm and she was not in the car – 7.30pm and she is still not in the motherfucking car. So I don’t think we can hold out much hope.
I don’t know what it is. We are going to give Ariana the benefit of the doubt and not say anything mean or judgmental. I apologise to anyone who might have come along hoping to see her. She was booked but the lazy little fucker has not come. Maybe she has gone to her first Nando’s.”
Wossy, you in danger, girl.
Well, there goes Jonathon Ross and there goes The Jonathan Ross Show. Because one night, he’s going to wake up to find the girl Damien standing over him and she’s going to punish him for being a big meanie by wishing him into a cornfield that plays her music on a loop.
But seriously, Ariana blowing off her appearance on The Jonathan Ross Show worked out for the best. He filled her spot by getting his other guests, Joan Collins, Danny DeVito and Sheridan Smith to sing 9 to 5 together!
We all know what’s going to happen next. In a couple of weeks, the Billboard Hot 100 chart is going to look like this:
#1 – 9 to 5 by J.D.S. (Joan, Danny and Sheridan).
#Not Even On The Chart – Ariana Grande Latte
And yes, Jonathan Ross is totally going to disappear now, but at least we’ll always have Danny DeVito and Joan Collins singing a Dolly Parton song together.