Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton’s Love Is The Pure Definition Of Real

November 6, 2015 / Posted by:

My mom regularly watches The Voice and she thinks Blake Shelton is a tall drink of 100 proof hotness in cowboy boots. I would go out on a date with Carrot Top in public and under bright lights, so I’m not one to judge. While talking to her the other night, she brought up Gwen Stefani dating her Blakey and said something about how they’re such a cute couple. I said that they were about as real and organic as the Zinger I was eating, and she was quiet for a second before saying in a serious tone, “Blake wouldn’t do that.” DAMN! Those revolving chairs on The Voice are hypnotizing people! They got my mom! But well, according to a Page Six source (who isn’t at all a publicist from NBC), my mom is right and I am 100% wrong! Gwen and Blake’s love is practically notarized. It’s that real and that true.

Page Six’s source says that Gwen isn’t the type to want to earn her STUNT QUEEN stripes and she doesn’t do “publicity stunts.” Gwen and Blake got close after their marriages flatlined and their beautiful, precious love is as authentic and special as the tear of happiness a swan cries out while it cuddles with its lover.

“They’ve worked together for a couple of seasons. The nature of what they’re going through would open the door. They got closer because they’re going through a similar thing together with heartbreak. They found common ground and it turned into something. She’s feeling great. She’s enjoying him. He’s charismatic. He’s funny and he’s a good-looking guy. What’s not to love?”

I’m not 100% sure, but that source may be my mom.

And here’s more evidence that proves that Blake and Gwen’s love is a petal in the flower of true love. TMZ says that their people carefully planned their “coming out” as a couple. Right before the CMAs, Blake and Gwen’s rep let everyone know that, yup, they’re humping each other full-time. That night, a pap somehow got a picture of them holding hands at an after-party. The plan was for them to quickly go to that after-party to show everyone that they’re a thing now. They really showed us!

You know, Blake does look like he’s thinking to himself, “Ah can’t believe ah’ve touched Gwen Sterfani’s vaginer!

So there we go, totally real. For some reason, my mom’s phone is disconnected and it tells me her number is no longer in service, but as soon as it starts working again I’m going to tell her that she was totally right. SheFani is REAL.

Pic: Instagram

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