I should’ve known that Slutoween is amateur hour for Courtney Stodden and is the one night of the year when she fully covers up her beach ball chichis and doesn’t wear a dress that’s the size of a Barbie maxipad. This year, the Porn Iguana did herself up as a sleazy drunk creep who sort of looks like a middle-aged James Franco in a no-budget remake of the Beastie Boys’ video for Sabotage. That French manicure really pulls the whole look together.
Back in September, Meryl Streep signed up for Education Connection, because as soon as she watched the riveting video of Courtney Stodden giving an emotionally raw monologue as a cracked out hooker, she realized she should look for a back-up career. On Halloween, Courtney once again proved that she’s not a Porn Iguana, she’s a Porn Chameleon, because she can magically transform into any role. She posted a few videos of her performing as her alter ego “Jack Auf.”
And somewhere, someone is fapping to that and that someone is probably Doug Hutchison’s sucio ass.