By the way, I’m typing this on a Braille keyboard, because I’ve had THAT PICTURE of Prince Hot Ginge taped onto my face since Friday. “Did you do something to your hair? You look so much better!” is what I heard all weekend from my family and friends.
The London premiere of the 24th James Bond movie, Spectre, happened tonight and Prince Hot Ginge was there, because DUH, there was an open bar and I’m sure the place was filled with stringy dishwater blondes he could make out with behind the concession counter. PHG brought along those other two, Prince William and Duchess Kate, because they never ever get out of the house and needed a date night.
Duchess Kate could wear dirty CROCs and a muumuu made of Wee-Wee pads and hos would still say that she DAZZLED on the red carpet, so of course some are saying that she DAZZLED tonight. They obviously need to be sat down in front of a dictionary turned to the definition of DAZZLED, because this isn’t dazzling. That dress looks like something a dowdy mother would wear to her daughter’s wedding in 1978. It looks like something that even St. Angie Jolie would look at and say, “Naw, too matronly.” People are probably saying Duchess Kate dazzled on the red carpet, because she is glowing and that has nothing to do with her and everything to do with her standing next to the pucker-inducing ray of sunshine that is PHG.
If the people who say that Duchess Kate dazzled on the red carpet looked up the meaning of the word, they’d find this staring back at them. Now this is dazzling:
Usually when Duchess Kate is at an event, there’s at least 5 million pictures of her on the photo agency websites. But tonight, there seemed to be only 3 million pictures of her and now I know why. All of the photographers turned their cameras away from her when Dame Joan Collins sashayed onto the red carpet exuding glamour, grace and sophistication. This is some “all of you amateurs run along home now because a real goddess has arrived” shit. I wish the paps got a picture of PHG after he laid eyes on glamour personified, because you know his fire rod burned a hole in his pants.
And here’s a bunch of other pictures from the Spectre premiere including some of Daniel Craig, the Bond Girls, Ralph Fine Ass and Shirley Bassey who gave Dame Joan some competition in the glamour game.