Jessica Biel Brought Her “Post-Baby Body” Out Last Night

October 23, 2015 / Posted by:

Because I know you all love the phrase “post-baby body” and you’ve been wondering what Jessica Biel’s post-baby body looks like, here’s Jessica Biel and her post-baby body with batshit-eyed Justin Timberlake at the 1st Annual Unveiling of Jessica Biel’s Post-Baby Body Ceremony in NYC last night. No, they were at something called the Fashion Group International Night of the Stars Gala.

The dried piece of bland celery leaf gave birth to a Weeds character last April and in case you didn’t get it the first 5,000 times I said it, she flaunted her post-baby body last night. Jessica Biel’s post-baby body is not to be confused with a regular’s post-baby body, which is probably covered in newborn barf, dried tears and chunks of hair that were yanked out from not being able to get 1 second of any fucking sleep.

Jessica covered her post-baby body with one of Laura Bush’s favorite Christmas party dresses and Justin Timberlake dressed up and gave off looks like a psychotic lounge piano player who makes piano keys out of the bones of his victims. But who cares about him. It’s all about Jessica Biel’s’s POST-BABY BODY!


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