Hot Slut Of The Day!

Paula Nichols from Dance Academy, the perfect 80s jewel that I never knew existed.

How in the HELL did I live through the 80s without seeing this masterpiece that looks like what you’d find if you opened up the chest of the 80s? I saw this clip at Everything Is Terrible last night and I pissed pure AquaNet for hours and threw up Crystal Pepsi. It’s that 80s.

No, I haven’t seen this brilliant piece of cinema yet, but based on the synopsis from IMDB, it sounds like it has all the ingredients for an absolutely perfect 80s dance movie. It’s a little bit of Footloose, a little bit of Fame and a little bit of Flashdance and it stars Julie Newmar as the manager of the dance school. Also, a dude gets ENTRANCED in it. It sounds like it’s every kind if right.

Blue-collar worker Vince stumbles into a dance school, where he quickly becomes entranced by the music. Miss McKenzie, the school’s manager and former owner, is about to throw him out on his ear when Moon, the school’s rebellious new jazz instructor, vouches for him. Although the school’s new owner has insisted on bringing in Moon as a teacher, Miss McKenzie absolutely hates him and the influence of his modern music, and will stop at nothing to see him (and Vince) thrown out for good.

And Paula Nichols plays Moon’s girlfriend who sings a magical song that makes everyone dance like they’ve just snorted a mountain of coke. This clip will put so many questions into your head, but just swat them away for now and get into 80s hotness of it all.

See. A million questions: Why isn’t that lady in the white coat entranced by the beat? Why is that guy at the end covered in blood? Is it from his moves murdering thet beat? How many different kinds of drugs are these messes on? Shouldn’t Paula be ruling The Labyrinth instead of singing this hot song for a bunch of coked up dancers? I don’t need the answer to any of those questions, because it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that this exists.

Dance Academy is on YouTube in its entirety, so if you’re uneducated like me, take the rest of the day off and watch it. Just tell your boss, “I’m going home to watch Dance Academy, because I’ve never seen it,” and I’m sure they’ll understand. Education always comes first.