Robert Downey Jr. Can Already Buy Us All, But Soon He’ll Be Able To Buy Us All Twice

October 9, 2015 / Posted by:

Usually steam rises up into Goopy Paltrow’s parts. But after she finds out about Robert Downey Jr.’s pay raise, organic, filtered steam is going to shoot out of her ears, b-hole, mouth and everywhere else. Goopy is going to rage. Goopy recently spoke about the wage gap in Hollywood and she said this about how RDJ’s salary:

“Look, nobody is worth the money that Robert Downey Jr. is worth. But if I told you the disparity, you would probably be surprised.”

That wage gap is about to get a whole lot wider.

Forbes reported that last year, RDJ brought in $80 million and most of that money came from the back-end (wink wink) of Avengers: Age of Ultron. RDJ also reportedly got $40 million to play Iron Man again in Captain America: Civil War. Well, RDJ’s going to need a much bigger checking account if Bleeding Cool is right.

Bleeding Cool says that the next two Avenger movies, Infinity War Part One and Two, will have a combined budget of $1 billion. $400 million of that $1 billion will be used to pay the main cast, director, producers and screenwriters. And of that $400 million, half of it will go into RDJ’s cleavage, meaning he’s going to make $200 million for both movies.

$200 million?!!!

Each of those Avengers movies will most likely make more than $1 billion each worldwide, but still. I agree with Goopy and I can’t believe I typed that.

Since I have a gutter brain that’s always thinking about man ass, my first thought was that he’s getting paid $200 million and he doesn’t even get naked in that shit. You know how in Working Girl when Joan Cusack is going through Sigourney Weaver’s closet and she picks up a dress and says, “Six thousand dollars?! It’s not even leather!” I used the same tone she used to say, “Two hundred million dollars?! He doesn’t even get naked!

But get money, RDJ. And congrats to his managers and agents who probably came their genitals off after they made that deal. The good news is that they’re so rich that they can buy new genitals.

And here’s Goopy Paltrow at LAX covering her face with a fancy purse that RDJ could buy with one of his solid gold boogers.

Pics: Splash, EW

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