Taylor Swift Has Made It Her Goal In Life To Beat Katy Perry’s #1 Singles Record

September 9, 2015 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift already peddles her singles like the rent on her backyard Little Tikes Princess Cottage was due last month and the repo men are coming to get it, but now she’s really going to turn it up, because she wants to wet queef on her arch rival’s record.

Katy Perry and Michael Jackson currently hold the record for having the most #1 singles from one album. Katy’s “Teenage Dream” has five #1s on it, as does Michael Jackson’s “Bad.” Tay Tay’s “1989” currently has 3 #1 singles on it and the handmade yarn doll from Etsy wants 7. A source tells Page Six that Taylor has become obsessed with breaking the record and she won’t stop until she’s doing a victory dance on a puddle made with tears from Michael Jackson’s ghost and Katy Perry.

“She wants seven No. 1s. Katy tied Michael [Jackson]’s record for having five No. 1s from a single album, and Taylor wants to beat Katy. She wants to be the greatest. She knows all the radio execs by name and how to work a room. She’s a complete pro.

Of course there’s motivation to beat her peers, but it’s friendly competition. She’s completely focused on delivering great music and a great show.”

But a different source says that it’s the label who cares about milking as many #1s out of her album as possible and she doesn’t care. Please, you know Tay Tay is the captain of that mission and she has temporarily turned her cat’s playroom into the “Take Down Kunty Perra” headquarters. This explains why Radar spit up a rumor yesterday about how someone is shopping around an “intimate and steamy” picture of Taylor and Calvin Harris. Taylor’s rep denies that a picture like that exists. I’m actually surprised that her rep didn’t say that the picture may or may not exist and you may or may not be able to download it on the iTunes store using a code you will receive once you buy her new single!

If an “intimate and steamy” picture of Taylor and Calvin exists, I’m sure it looks like this:


I know, that’s not right. A picture of oatmeal on toast is way more sexy and steamy than those two.

And here’s Katy Perry looking like Reno lounge singer Elvira at a handprint ceremony outside of the TCL Chinese Theater before the premiere of the documentary Jeremy Scott: The People’s Designer.

Pics: Wenn.com, Blogspot

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