Archives: September 2015

Night Crumbs

September 30, 2015 / Posted by:

George and Amal Clooney were at the 15th anniversary party for O Brother, Where Are Thou? last night and in that picture he’s thinking to himself, “Hurry, hurry, drinking all that tequila gave me the shits again.” While she’s thinking, “Slow down, pepaw, I’m busy giving glam-orrrrr to the paps.” – Lainey Gossip 

I see Tom Hiddleston delivering those Barbizon poses in Berlin – Celebitchy

This is the part where Bethenny Frankel tries to get more money out of the producers of Real Housewives of New York City by acting like she’s not going to come back next season – Reality Tea 

Josh Duggar’s dick has maybe been in 2 porn stars and counting –  The Superficial 

Gisele Bundchen’s coffee table book is $700 – WWTDD

The Hudgens sisters are always dressed for Coachella, because you never ever know when a surprise Coachella may happen – Drunken Stepfather

Okay, but what I want to know is, what does Mona Robinson think?! – Towleroad

Emily Blunt doesn’t want to talk about Michael Buble cheating on her ass – Just Jared

Damian Lewis is “tapped” (read: shit is a rumor and isn’t going to happen) to be the next James Bond and I am not for it, because if there’s going to be a ginger James Bond it better be Carrot TopEgotastic

Elsa Pataky is giving me “cool mom going to the club in 1997” – Popoholic

Four pussies take on a stuffed pussy – Hollywood Tuna 

Amanda Seyfried and the ex-Mac Dude broke up – IDLYITW

I CO-SIGN! – Pajiba

Maybe Lady CaCa can help her new homegirl out in the wig and eyebrow situation department – Jezebel

Grump Cat Who? Gizmo the Albino Pup needs his own Lifetime Christmas special now – OMG Blog

It’s getting HAHA in here and that’s because I can’t stop laughing at Taylor Swift and Haim’smoves” – Popsugar

Pic: Splash

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UsWeekly Says That Kaley Cuoco’s Marriage Ended Because Of Her Husband’s Addiction To Pills

September 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Ryan Sweeting’s hair in that picture is a painful reminder of when I fried my hair while trying to relax it myself. My ends have never been the same again.

When Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting announced that they were divorcing after only 21 months of being married, I figured that they just got around to getting to know each other and decided that they hate each other. It happens. But a “source” tells UsWeekly (via The Daily Mail) that their marriage fell apart after he got addicted to dolls.

Apparently, Ryan had problems with pills long before he met Kaley, but he had sobered up before they had their first date. A few months after they met, Ryan, who’s a tennis player, injured his back and the doctor gave him painkillers. That fucked up his sobriety majorly and it probably didn’t help that Kaley made him watch The Big Bang Theory every week. The source claims that Ryan’s pill addiction came back and Kaley tried to get him into rehab, but when nothing worked she busted out some tough love and left him. The source said this:

“She supported him but she said he couldn’t make the commitment to get sober. He’d tell her he was working on it and instead go get wasted. She couldn’t fix him. He wasn’t the man she thought he was. It was also noted, She couldn’t take his ups and downs.’ And there were the fights. He’d lash out at her.”

This story is coming from sources with no faces, so it’s to be taken with an entire salt lick, but…. Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting did live in the same house that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom lived in. Khloe and Lamar’s marriage ended in that house. Kaley and Ryan’s marriage ended in that house. Lamar got addicted to the bad shit. Ryan may be addicted to pills. That house is cursed! Since Tangina is longer here to clean that house, that house must be burned to the ground, the earth on which it stood should be salted and Khlozilla needs to be jailed for not warning Kaley about it!

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QOTD: Meryl Streep Is Not A Feminist, But She Is A Humanist

September 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Meryl Streep was the loudest whooper during Patricia Arquette’sEQUAL PAY FOR EVERYONE!” speech at the Oscars and in the new movie Suffragette she plays Emmeline Pankhurst, a British activist who helped women win the right to vote, but don’t label her as a feminist at all. Meryl is currently sitting in a seat right next to Marion Cotillard in the section marked “Humanists.”

Meryl did an interview with Time Out London and they asked her a lot about equality since that’s what the movie is about. The interviewer asked Meryl what’s an annoying question that only women get asked. Meryl said she farts out a huge load of UGHs whenever she’s asked why she chooses to play “strong women.” Meryl also said that right now the film industry is dominated by dudes and the dudes should open their eyes and know that something’s wrong when other voices aren’t represented.

Men should look at the world as if something is wrong when their voices predominate. They should feel it. People at agencies and studios, including the parent boards, might look around the table at the decision-making level and feel something is wrong if half their participants are not women. Because our tastes are different, what we value is different. Not better, different.

But even though it sounds like she one hundred percent supports feminist causes, she doesn’t consider herself one. The interviewer asked Meryl if she’s a “feminist” and she dodged the question while spitting this out:

I am a humanist, I am for nice easy balance.

I didn’t know that “humanism” had to do with politics and equality and all of that. I thought “humanist” was a religious thing. But well, if we’re going by Meryl Streep’s definition of “humanist,” then I think it’s a good time to let all of you know that I’m not a humanist. Humans are assholes. That’s why I’m a puppyist.

Pic: Wenn.com

Open Post: Hosted By More Of Prince Hot Ginge’s Beard Of Fire

September 30, 2015 / Posted by:

It’s been 15 days, 20 hours, 43 minutes and 10 seconds since I first posted about Prince Hot Ginge’s latest face fur of fuego and it’s getting thicker and hotter. Any of us with half-working brains and eyes can easily say that Prince Hot Ginge’s beard is currently the hottest beard on earth. (Sorry, Irina Shayk. You’re the second hottest beard on earth.) The half ring of fire on PHG’s face makes him look like a hot piece version of Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Just imagine him screaming, “LAND HOOOO,” as he humps on you.

Today, PHG worked harder than any other royal ever, because he walked, talked and waved at the same time. PHG is currently walking a thousand miles with a six-member team for one of his favorite charities, Walking with the Wounded. My heart (and other parts) will always belong to PHG, but one of his teammates, the silver fox daddy, is also doing things to me. Having a threesome with them would be like getting spit-roasted by fire and ice. And when your mouth starts to burn and needs cooling and your down low parts start to freeze and need warming, they can switch!

Pics: Wenn.com

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Shock And Awe: A Rich Famous Person Will Not Be Charged With A Crime In Los Angeles County

September 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Buckle up, buckaroo! Caitlyn Jenner can now drive down PCH and let the wind freely blow in her weave while not worrying about going to a men’s prison or any prison. Caitlyn will not face any charges for the crash on PCH that left one woman dead.

Investigators went through all of the evidence, including a video of the accident, and they declared that Caitlyn Jenner wasn’t speeding, but she was driving at an unsafe speed for the road conditions that day. The video shows Caitlyn’s SUV hitting two cars, sending one of the cars into oncoming traffic where it hit a Hummer head-on. Investigators believed that there was enough evidence to charge Caitlyn with vehicular manslaughter. But the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office farted on that recommendation. via AP

A prosecutor wrote in a one-page sheet declining to file charges that Jenner was traveling slightly below the posted speed limit and began braking less than two seconds before the crash. To prove misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter, prosecutors would have had to show Jenner was negligent and had violated a basic speed law.

Based on the facts, the office determined they “cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that suspect’s conduct was unreasonable.”

Caitlyn Jenner isn’t going to jail for the crash, but she’s still not off the hook. Caitlyn still has to face two lawsuits: one from the family of the woman who died and another from the woman who was driving the other car she hit. Well, the good news for Caitlyn is that if she has to pay up any money in a settlement, I’m sure she’ll make it back when E! pays her to star in another reality show called Racing with Celebrities with Halle Berry, Billy Joel, Lindsay Lohan, Brandy, Rebecca Gayheart and Lane Garrison. Knowing E!, that show is probably in the works for real.

And here’s Caitlyn wearing white after Labor Day outside of a grocery store in Malibu.

Pics: Splash

Naya Rivera Had A Baby

September 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Naya Rivera (aka Santana from Glee) and her husband of a year Ryan Dorsey (aka a dude whose claim to fame is that he bareback boned and married Santana from Glee) became first-time parents on September 17th and I guess it took them a couple of weeks to try to sell the info to absolutely anybody before nobody bit and they said, fuckit, we’ll release it for free.

Naya’s rep tells People that she had a baby boy in Los Angeles. Since Naya paid plastic surgeons to Kardashian-ize her mug using rubber and soil jelly, I figured she’d take her Kim Kardashian impersonation to the next level by naming her kid something like South Dorsey Rivera or Mik Naihsadrak Dorsey Rivera. But TMZ dug up her kid’s birth certificate and this is what she and Ryan named their baby boy:

Naya and the “Justified” star just had their first kid — a boy born on September 17 — and according to the birth certificate … named him Josey.

Josey Hollis Dorsey … in full, came into the world at the ever popular celeb birth spot — Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A.

JOSEY DORSEY. JOSEY DORSEY. JOSEY DORSEY.

I guess Naya and Ryan are really big fans of Clint Eastwood or they’re really big fans of a certain buff gay country singer. I kind of like the name actually, because it sounds like a tongue twister you’d say 10 times before performing a monologue during high school drama class and it also reminds me of Josie Grosey from Never Been Kissed. If Naya’s kid ever decides to legally change his name, he’s going to scream, “I’m not JOSEY DORSEY anymore!”, afterward.

Here’s a knocked up Naya and Ryan doing stuff in L.A. a couple of months ago.

Pics: Wenn.com

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