If Miley Cyrus hosts the MTV VMAs and her tit nub doesn’t pop out at least once, did she really host the MTV VMAs at all?
The least shocking moment of the VMAs happened when Miley’s nipple “accidentally” made a cameo appearance toward the end of the show. And by “accidentally” I mean that she rehearsed that accidental nip slip for 3 hours in a rehearsal studio in the Valley somewhere and in her earpiece, a stage manager was saying, “Standby nip slip… Nip slip go in 3..2…”
Many parents spent their entire night smearing burn cream all over the eyes of the innocent, delicate children whose retinas caught on fire from seeing Miley Cyrus’ devilry nipple. Everybody should’ve seen her tit slip coming, because she’s Miley Cyrus and nearly everything she wore during the show was leading up to that moment. Before going to a commercial break, Miley was backstage changing when she “accidentally” dropped the black curtain for a second and her tit came out to say hi. Gawker has a clip of it and I put the uncensored pic after the cut, because I know some of you dew drops don’t want your pure and virginal eyes tainted by the sight of a chipmunk lady nipple.
You know, I’m a little disappointed with Miley. I mean, tit and nipple slips are so overdone and beyond the opposite of OHSOEDGY. Nowadays, everyone and their grandmama slips a nip. I thought that Miley would take it to the next level by slipping a clit or by slipping a kidney out of her vag as she walked in a really short skirt. Nip slips are so 2004. It’s all about the internal organ slip.
Miley also released her new album, “Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz,” for free on the Internet last night and she closed the show by performing her song “Doooo It!” with a bunch of queens from RuPaul’s Drag Race and Wayne Coyne (who is the vessel that is holding in the energy of her dead dog Floyd). The performance was like a Pee-wee’s Playhouse episode that took place at a rave in Bushwick and the song’s lyrics are what a 7th grade stoner would write on his folder during detention.
Miley also released a video for “Dooo It!” and it’s pretty much 4 and a half minutes of unicorn bukkake. Put your gag reflex to the test:
That sucio shit should be uploaded to PornHub’s “Brony porn” section.
And here’s pictures of some of the outfits Miley wore last night. It looks like she was modeling every look from a Project Runway unconventional challenge where the designers had to make an outfit using materials found in a Party City factory outlet.