If Usain Bolt was playing a game of charades with those who know me and the phrase he had to act out was, “What Michael K wishes he was doing every night of the week,” he and his partner definitely would’ve won. But that’s not what he was doing. Usain was freaking out because he was afraid that his career was over thanks to a stupid ass Segway. That really would’ve been a bitch.
After beating his competition in the 200 meter final at the World Championships in Beijing today, the human lightning bolt was strolling along the track barefoot when a cameraman on a Segway hit some shit, lost control and ran right into him. Bitch went down, did a somersault and then limped away. Just look at this bumbling buffoonery:
Mamma mia is right!
The good news for Usain is that his moneymakers are fine. Usain told reporters afterward that the Segway hit him in his calf area and he’s going to be okay. Can you imagine if that damn Segway messed up his ankles and took him out of the game forever? See, this is why the only highly-trained pilots who should be allowed to drive a Segway are Shauna Sand and Raven. They’re the only ones who can truly tame that two-wheeled beast.