Kim Zolciak Says She Hasn’t Upgraded Her Face

August 18, 2015 / Posted by:

Kim Zolciak, seen above looking like the love child of Billie Dean Howard and the cartoon version of Samantha from the opening of Bewitched, recently appeared on Watch What Happens Live looking a little…how you say…fresh in the nose and mouth area. Kim hasn’t exactly looked like Kim for a while now, so it was no surprise when some aspiring detective called in to WWHL and asked Kim where her old face went. “WHERE’S KIM’S OLD FACE?!?!?!” is the new “WHERE’S SHELLY?!?!” (at least in my mind).

Despite the fact that it’s as plain as the expertly-carved nose on her face, Kim shat on the suggestion that her face is living that plastic surgeon’s knife life. Kim rolled her eyes and hissed:

“I hear this all the time, but I want people to understand. I had a baby in 2011, one in ’12, and two in 2013. So I think the weight of all that…but I mean, no, I haven’t. I did my boobs, my tummy. I did it on my show. And I just, I haven’t.”

Thankfully, Andy Cohen was wearing his best pair of confidence-boosting no-fucks-to-give underoos that day, and he called that Kim (and her new nose and her new mouth) out.

“Here’s the deal. I feel that you were here, I interviewed you for the Atlanta Housewives 100th episode special. I was staring at your face for a long time and it was clear to me that you looked a little different to me. I couldn’t tell, you said to me ‘no, no, no.’ Tonight you arrive wearing glasses and I’m like, ‘Now why is she wearing these librarian-that-can-be-seduced glasses?’ And now I realized, it is to take away from the fact that you have had a little bit shaved off your nose. You have a little shaved off your nose, and your lips are bigger.”

Of course, Kim continued to deny that she had any work done, and told Andy the reason her lips looked bigger is because she had “overdrawn” them. “Believe me girl, that excuse doesn’t work anymore” texted Kylie Jenner to Kim. But really, if Kim wanted to divert the attention away from her nose and mouth, she should have picked something louder than a pair of’ “pay no attention to my nose job” nerd glasses. Nobody would have noticed her new face if she had been wearing one of those awful Dr. Seuss hats from the 90s.

Here is more of Kim’s totally original unaltered face (LOOOOOOL) from Watch What Happens Live:

Pics: Bravo

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