Kensington Palace Tells The Paparazzi To Stop Taking Unauthorized Pictures Of Prince George Or Else!

August 14, 2015 / Posted by:

Kensington Palace is not fucking around and today the town crier stood in the middle of the square and yelled out “Hear Ye! Hear Ye!” before reading a 60,000 word statement to the paparazzi and the media about why it’s wrong to take and publish unauthorized pictures of the royal children. The statement says that the paparazzi are stalking Prince George and are taking pictures of him outside of public events using shady tactics like long lenses and hiding in bushes. Some publications, mostly in the US, France, Germany, Australia and New Zealand have published the pictures. Kensington Palace wants the paps and the media to let Prince George live his life. “Our impact has gone international!” – Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard

The statement says that 2-year-old Prince George has become the #1 target of the paparazzi and shit is starting to get dangerous and scary (giving me shades of Princess Diana…). Kensington Palace points out that some publications recently posted pictures of Prince George with Duchess Kate’s mom at the beach and just last week police caught a pap hiding in the trunk of a rental car to get pictures of the prince playing in a park. The statement lists some of the tactics the paps have used to get pictures of the future King of England:

Used long range lenses to photograph the Duchess of Cambridge playing with her son in private parks

Monitored the movements of Prince George and his nanny around London parks, as well as the movements of other household staff

Photographed the children of private individuals visiting the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s home

Pursued cars leaving family homes

Used other children to draw Prince George into view around playgrounds

Hidden on private property in fields and woodland locations around the duke and duchess’s Norfolk home

Obscured themselves in sand dunes on a rural beach to take photos of Prince George playing with his grandmother

Placed locations near the home of Catherine’s parents in Berkshire under steady surveillance

“Used other children to draw Prince George into view…” What in To Catch A Predator decoy HELL?

The statement adds that Duchess Kate and Prince William love sharing pictures of their WORLD FAMOUS children with their subjects and are okay with photographers taking pictures of them at public events, but the stalking and hiding in bushes shit has to stop. Any paparazzi caught taking unauthorized pictures of the royal children will be banned from watching Downton Abbey (which is worse than death, honestly) and they will be locked in a room with THE QUEEN and her weapon of choice (read: her pocketbook).

I agree that the paparazzi need to stop focusing on getting pictures of Prince George. It’s just Prince George! Instead they need to focus on more important things like hiding in car trunks and bushes to get pictures of Prince Hot Ginge skinny dipping at a private beach, because you know, that’s totally not creepy at all.

Pic: Splash

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